Quickies

Be afraid, be very afraid... 

Working for IT Support, we have gotten a lot of strange requests, questions and problems over the years. Some are just pure stupidity, some are legitimate problems and it is just the wording thats wrong. Here are a few of each that have made us laugh; some you may even recognise as they are common classics:
  • "Hi, Please can you install the Internet on to my Memory Stick?"
  • "My printer isn't talking to my computer..."
  • "Its says to press the anykey. I haven't got an 'Any key' on my keyboard?" (An oldie, but a goodie.)
  • I went in to a computers for beginners class once. There was a man in there physically running the mouse over the monitor and swearing loudly because it wasn't working properly.
  • My computer won't boot, is the server down?
  • Had a lady phone us complaining she had a faulty CD ROM Drive. When I got to the office I found she was trying to push her CD in to a floppy drive.
  • "Quick, my computer has performed an 'illegal operation.' Can you wipe it before I get arrested?"
  • "What version of Windows are you running?" We ask.
    "Microsoft Word!" They reply.
  • "I can't get on the Internet" a man complains.
    "OK, What happens when you load Internet Explorer?" We ask.
    "What's that?"
  • "Is the network down?" (Always a winner.)
    "Not that we are aware, are you having problems?"
    "Well, it's just that I haven't received any emails this morning." (Well maybe you just arn't as popular as you thought.)
  • "I think my laptop may have a virus"
    "What makes you think that?"
    " Because I got a message saying my computer was out of date and not protected."
    "You mean your anti-virus software is out of date?"
    "Yes!" 
  • "When I type into a cell in Excel, the boxes remain blank."
    When my colleague connected to the PC, they found that the user had set the font colour to white on a white background.
  • "Hello. Is the Server Down?"
    "Urrmm, which one?"
    "How many have you got?"
    "We have about Seventy."
    "Oh well, The one connected to my Computer..."
  • "Hello, I have six new emails, but I can't find them."
    (Upon connecting to her PC) "There they are in you Inbox."
    "Oh Thank you, umm they don't normally appear there..." (Where else would they be?)
  • "Hi, I've lost all my emails. They were in the deleted items folder and now they are gone"
    "The deleted items folder empties when you close outlook."
    "That's just stupid, I store all my messages in there!" (Why? Didn't you read the name of the folder, or don't you know what 'deleted' means?)
There are loads more...

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