Personal Security

This is not exactly IT related, but it did happen to a former member of my department. He told me about it many times over the years and I have always found it amusing.

This story involves a woman (mentioned before in previous editions) that I have had many dealings with in the past.

She is one of the worst users of IT equipment in the entire company... ever. Many times we have laughed or groaned over her stupidities and lack of sense. Especially amusing were some of the things she said.

One evening I was on a late shift and I was closing up the computer rooms and looking forward to getting home after a 13 hour shift.

There was one room left open and guess who was in it... Yep!

"Would you mind turning off the lights and dropping the catch on your way out please?" I ask her. In the past whoever is the last to leave has no problem with this.

"Oh can you wait please, could you walk me to my car?" She ask's me.

It was past 9pm and it was pitch black outside. The carpark has minimal lighting and I understood perfectly that she may want an escort. After all personal safety is a serious issue.

"Sure, no problem, I am on my way out now."

"Oh no, I'll be another half an hour or so" she says. It turns out she had been putting some paper work off and wanted it finished before she left.

"I am sorry, I need to get home." This was true I had something that needed taking care of before it got too late.

"Oh, ok then, go." She tells  me "if I get attacked I'll sue."

I couldn't help but smile as I drove home. Fortunately for any potential attacker, security were kind enough to see her to her car.

Turns out, about a year before I joined the company, my former colleague had been on a late shift in another building where this woman, amongst a dozen others had been working.

He had gotten a call and had to go over to the other suite. While he was there he decided to close up the empty rooms and it took a while before he got back. He entered the building to find it completely empty. It was past his finishing time so he went around, switched off all the computers and lights, locked up and went home.

The next day a rather stern boss called him into his office demanding to know why he had locked the lady up in the building the night before.

He explained to the boss that the building had been empty, and he had seen no one as he had gone around closing everything down.

The woman was called into the office to be asked what had happend and this was what she said.

"Well I was working late and all of a sudden the lights started going out, and I heard someone turning everything off. So I got scared and hid behind the portable whiteboard until they were gone."

There's one born every minute!