We have had the system for about four years or so and the powers that be have finally decided we need training on it. We head not too far, due north to another company for a VMware virtualisation course. Myself and a colleague: negotiating the mad, suicidal drivers of the M1 and arriving in good time, and in one piece, so far so good. There turns out to be two car parks and naturally we attempt to enter the wrong one, only to be redirected to the second by a rather grumpy security officer. We find the second car park, only to be blocked by a barrier and an intercom unit.
BUZZ! My colleague pushes the buzzer and a voice welcomes us and asks our business. We explain we are there for a course.
"Which course are you on?" the voice asks us.
"VMware virtualisation" my colleague tells them.
"V...M..."
We wait... then...
"Ummm, which course is it?"
"VMware" my colleague explains again. "VSphere 4."
"Hummm...."
Silence...
"Are you teaching it?" the voice asks.
"No" he answers in surprise.
The intercom clicks loud and we wait as a rather attractive young woman exits the building in front and makes her way towards us.
"Hi, sorry, which course are you on?" she asks in friendly voice.
""VMware" we both answer in unison.
The woman looks a little confused and then says "OK, please park in space thirteen." (Is this a sign?) She leaves, the barrier finally goes up and we park in the allocated space.
Once we get inside we are greeted by the woman again as well as a tall, thin, spotty faced youth wearing a scraggily tie who decides to take charge.
"Which course are you on?" he asks us pompously.
For the fourth time we tell them that we are there for the VMware Sphere 4 virtualisation course for the next four days.
"Are you teaching it?" he asks us.
"No" we answer.
He looks very confused and desperately searches his list, trying to figure out where we are supposed to be.
"Are you sure you on that course?" He asks rather rudely.
We tell him yes, biting our tongues from what we wanted to say. "Yes mate, we are in the habit of driving a couple of hundred miles to a random place and pretend we are on an imaginary course. You don't learn much, but meet some strange people."
He thumbs through a clipboard, this nose in the air.
"Is it the Network Infrastructure course?" He asks.
We both shrug our shoulders. "It could be" I answer. Our course literature, consisted of a printed email with the words VMware course, a date and time, and an address.
"Oh" the guy says abruptly, looking a little relieved. "In that case, you have parked your car in the wrong space, please move it to space twenty two."
The car moved, we are ushered upstairs to a class room. It's empty, but there is plenty of tea, coffee and biscuits to make up for the confusion downstairs.
We sit back, make ourselves comfortable, my colleague checks his email and I check us into Facebook. You gotta love smartphones.
A few minutes later, the door opens and two chaps stroll in in jeans and t-shirts. They introduce themselves as IT Analysts from the company. They are there to set the room up and to take the course themselves.
It was like being back in our own office. Same personalities, same mentalities, it was uncanny. The guys were a great laugh and during the week we learnt a lot from each other.
The door opens again and the trainer comes in: A tall, heavy set man in an expensive suit and a friendly appeal. After a quick introduction he looks at the four of us and says. "Right, there are nine servers in the boot of my car, go and get them, set one up for each desk and the big server at the front." He vanishes from the room.
My colleague and I look at one another, it was just like being back at work: Only this time we didn't have to ask how high, when someone said jump.
The two guys we had been chatting with disappeared and for once we got to see someone else heaving heavy IT equipment around on trolleys, connecting it up and a arguing how about how best to run the CAT5 cables to the sockets.
The course starts fashionably late, the trainer is obviously a talker and kept going off at a tangent. Before 10am we had heard the bulk of his life's story, and his wife's.
When we finally get down to the course, although very fast moving and intense it is very interesting and the trainer is clearly very knowledgeable. Not just from reading the books, but from real life experience too and is able to relate how things work in the real world. Bonus.
We did have the odd chuckle throughout the week, as he explained each part of the course from the book, he would complete the end of every sentence with "is that OK gentlemen?" We gave up nodding after the first twenty pages or so, as it was a little repetitive.
Lunch time came and eight starving IT Professionals make their way down for a buffet lunch. As the talk moves around the table, we are united in the fact that we all seem to fight the same never ending battles: The password problems, the lack of common sense, the inability to use an electrical socket and many, many more.
We are swapping stories and solutions, when ten minutes later, the fire bell sounds and we have to leave our half eaten lunch to go and stand in the freezing cold car park, where we each nibble on the food we stowed away on the way out . If it was a real fire, my only hope was that the fire engine park in the correct space, or they may have been asked to move it.
Back to the grindstone, mid-afternoon and the trainer's mobile phone buzz's on the desk. He apologises and claims that it is his boss: His wife.
We hear half a conversation, that turns out to involve myself and my colleague. There were eight of us on that course, when there were only supposed to be seven. Apparently they had gained an extra body from our company and my colleague was not supposed to be there. Fortunately the trainer laughs it off and a phone call to our boss, an email from him and the situation is sorted out.
That was only Monday, as the week rolled on the course opened more and more doors into the world that is VMware and virtualisation. There were very few incidents the rest of the week apart from the odd error, a wrong turn on the dual carriage way and the occasional race to get the only packet of jammy dodgers from the biscuit basket.
"Is that OK gentlemen?"
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