Even though I have sent him through the logon credentials he still can't connect to the server. Even though they are exactly the same as last time. I reset the password for him. No luck. I test the account myself and it works perfectly. Still he can't get past the bad user name or password error screen. It takes me ten minutes to talk him through how to get on to the server. Great start, that holiday has done him a world of good; his brain is completely relaxed. I'm impressed already!
The first plan of attack is for him to remove all of his software from the server (again) and start the installation from scratch (again), including some fixes from the mother country along the way. I kinda liked the first part of the plan, but the second part brought a lump to my throat and a feeling of dark foreboding.
I hang up with a grimace, knowing it is going to be another very long day.
How right I was:
He gets everything uninstalled. And I mean everything; his own software, the other junk he had installed, and even the office installation that was working perfectly. Before hand I ask him if he would be so kind as to make use of the large secondary disk we put on the server for him, by reinstalling his software to it, as its contents grows with the amount of files it generates. He agrees with a little hesitation.
Soon after this the phone went quiet. Now, over the past few weeks I have come to realise that this is NOT a good sign. I log on to the server to see what is going on. I wish I hadn't. I found that he had ignored my request and put his software back on to the system drive. To confuse us further he had decided to reinstall office on to the second disk instead. We now have an over-sized drive with nothing on it but an office installation and few temporary files. Awesome, top job!
Lunch Time:
His software still wasn't functioning so I got the usual argument abouts the local database account. He insisted that it was not authenticating. By this time I am fed up with explaining myself in a never ending loop. So, to prove my point and to finally put this argument to rest, I gave his domain account full admin permissions to the databases. Surprise, surprise, it made no difference whatsoever.
My victory dance is cut short as we come back to the main problem that we started with. The software is still trying to go out to the Internet even though it doesn't need to, but it has to, in order to talk to itself. Makes sense? Nope, not to me either, but nothing surprises me anymore with this software. He keeps insisting that it is because of the protocol (does he even no what a protocol is?), but this time the mother country is refusing to change it in their configuration files. Even though it fixed the problem in the first place, way back when. Now there's logic for you.
Back to the drawing board, they do some more testing. The end result is that little old me has to rummage up some new settings in group policy, to give the server some custom proxy settings for the Internet connection that it doesn't really need or use.
I leave him to tinker away, only for him to phone me back to ask if I had set up the reporting for him and the user. I told him I would have done, but I was still waiting for information on what he wants and instructions on how to do it. The information I asked for three weeks ago.
"Oh I just need browser permissions" he says proudly. I hear his smile drop when I ask him how that is achieved.
I am very fortunate that my colleagues are a lot better informed than him. I phone one of them up and explain the problem. A database guru, they kindly take time out of a very busy day, at a very busy time of year to have a look at the configuration and help me out. After half an hour of blind tinkering and mild swearing we are getting positive results. What a team!
We give the reporting a little testing, loading some of the charts and making sure its working properly. We can honestly say it worked, but the output was atrocious: A black mass of black on black on black, next to a thinly lined circle that we assumed was a pie chart. It was just like the rest if the software: A huge, confusing mess, that resembled a small child's scribble.
Later that Afternoon:
With a spark, the green light bulb begins to flash, there is a grinding as the cogs begin to turn, steam billows out in huge giant clouds, and everyone holds their breath in anticipation as the software chugs to life, and finally starts to behave and function as it should. The users cheer, I heave a sigh of relief, the mother country disconnects and The World's Worst Software Engineer sits back, satisfied in a job half-arsed. He can now set it up again to be used by our work force.
The irony that it finally took a single day to complete a task that has taken him almost four weeks is lost on him. He now thinks himself a technological war hero.
My advice: If the server ain't broke, get a restraining order against this guy before he can mess it up again.
Besides, I'm on leave that month!
Nicely said.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, as a software engineer myself, I can honestly say I have very little experience with networking compared to you. However that didn't stop me from learning a few vital things: apache, mysql, port forwarding, NAT, etc...
If I ever have to work with this guy...
I hope you never have to. We have had some great Engineers in in the past for other products. Engineers who not only know their software inside and out, but understand how the network environment interacts with it. Sadly this guys is an exception.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you. Thanks for reading.