The Lunacy of Technology

It is an understatement to say that modern technology has come on in leaps and bounds in the last fifteen years or so. When I was at school, I remember marvelling at the release of the brand new Intel Pentium 200 processor. A few years later came the Pentium 2, and the newer AMD chips. Then there were the RAM chips that increased in capacity (and length), and the 80 MB hard drives that became 500 MB, and later to 6.4GB.

"Too big. We'll never fill it" we would say as we looked wide eyed at the wondrous, yet mysterious black box encased in anti-static bags, wrapped in bubble wrap, and hidden behind protective glass. It constantly amazes me now at the total disregard for these precautions, as attitudes towards the delicacy of components has changed. In comparison, the price of technology has reduced, allowing people to care less.

The Locked Cabinet

With the big move complete, we are settled in the new office and the company's servers are now in one place, under our complete control. Well almost, We aren't allowed to touch the phone system and there is nobody in the team willing to get too close to the Mac Servers for fear of coming out in a disfiguring skin disease.

For these delicate operations we have a Mac Technician who doesn't mind using overpriced, Fisher-Price hardware that is about as useful as a condom machine in the Vatican.

It is now situated between the main patch panels and a proper server rack (namely, populated with Windows and ESX Servers). It is now known as the Mac Rack . One morning our Mac guy comes in and asks us for the key to the back of the rack.

What is RAM?

"I am applying for a new job." A guy from another department announced to me one day. "It's for a 'Technical Computer Job' and I was wondering if you would help me with a couple of the questions on the application form?"

"Ok, I'll help you if I can." I agree somewhat taken aback by the new 'Job Title.'

"This is the main question I am having a problem answering." He says pointing to a large box on the application.

"Describe any technical IT experience that you have had?" I read out loud.

"Yes" he says. "What shall I put?"

Switch it ON!

A colleague of mine told me about an incident the other day, where a guy in his department couldn't switch a PC on. The computer was connected up correctly and plugged in. Infact it was in the same state that it was in everyday at that time. Everyday that guy came in, switched it on in the same way and all was well.

This particular day he just couldn't get it to power on. My colleague took a quick glance at the plug socket and informed the man that it wasn't switched on at the plug.

Ten minutes later my colleague came back in to the room and the man was still staring confused at the dead computer.

"What's wrong?" My colleague asked.

"The computer won't switch on." He replied.

Internet Security

Although not overly strict, we have considerably tight filters on our firewall that scans and filters websites and applications from the internet. Protection from unwanted "nasties" such as malware and viruses. These days it is essential to any business and home use alike.

Every once in a while a site that is required may be found to be blocked; we review it and unblocked it if we deem it suitable.

One day a guy comes in with his laptop complaining that it is "running slow" and the software he had installed was reporting hundreds of viruses. He also took the time to tell us how vulnerable our network was and that we should be protecting against such things. He even took the liberty of telling all about viruses and how dangerous they could be. He also complained that he could pick up malware but couldn't get to sites he wanted or certain applications.

Obviously we are always open to being told our jobs by someone with a laptop in the condition it was in and remained in a silent loathing while we checked it out.