The worst kind of person to report IT problems has to be those that "think" they know what they are talking about. These are computer enthusiasts that have played about with an old 486 over the weekend, installed Windows and immediately believe they are IT Professionals.
One such person contacts us on a regular basis and is the subject of many humorous and frustrating stories. A lot of our guys do their very best to avoid having to deal with him.
On one particular day I was very unfortunate to receive a phone call from him.
"Did you know your wireless system is faulty?" He tells me.
"What makes you say that?" I ask.
"The laptop I have here will NOT connect." He explains.
"So because you can't connect that laptop, the wireless network has a fault?" I ask.
"Well... I don't think it's the laptop at fault."
"OK, bring it up to us and we'll take a look." I offer helpfully.
"Well, no... I would like to do it myself, I have got it this far." (The danger alert siren goes off in my head.)
"What do you mean this far?" I ask, not sure if I really want the answer.
I didn't...
"I wiped my laptop and reinstalled the operating system; I have most things working on it. Office, the graphics, got a couple of other problems but I know I can fix those if I can just get it on the network."
I listen to all of this, glad he is not in room in case I get the urge to introduce his laptop to his head.
"Why are you wiping company laptops?" I ask.
"I just felt like it." He tells me as I make a mental note to report him to senior management.
"First of all, are the wireless drivers installed?" I ask.
"No not yet. I need to get on the internet to download them."
I am nodding along, expecting this brain-dead logic.
"Have you installed the LAN card?" I ask.
"Oh yes, Windows did that for me."
"Then use a cable to get on to the internet." I tell him. "However even with the drivers installed you will NOT be able to connect to the wireless. First of all to connect to the wireless your laptop needs a computer account on the domain. Secondly you DO NOT have the administration rights to add the laptop to the domain."
"You shouldn't have told me that" he says offended. "I wanted to work that out for myself. Now where do I find the drivers?"
I put the phone down. There was nothing else I could do without getting in serious trouble myself. I reported the guy and I had to have the laptop to reimage it and get it back on the network.
Some people should NEVER touch computers!
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