The Disappearing Emails

Knock! Knock!

A lady walks in to our office, for some reason knocking after she has entered and holds up her laptop for all to see.

"Can anyone help me?" She asks.

"I am sure we can." I reply (Just don't ask us to perform a medical procedure.) "What's the problem?" (You'd think I'd have learned NOT to ask this question by now, wouldn't you.)

"All my emails have disappeared." She tells me.

Somewhat sceptical I get her to boot up her laptop. After three attempts and a password reset I finally get her logged in.

The Faulty Laptop Screen

One morning we had a rather upset gentleman come in to our office, nursing his laptop. He had been in to several other departments along the way, complaining loudly to anyone that would listen to his problem, searching for someone to help him. They in turn had redirected him to us. So kind of them...

"My laptop's broken, my laptop's broken. Please you have to do something." He pleads as he rushes in.

"What's the problem?" My colleague asked, taking pity on the poor man, who was obviously distressed.

"The Screen. I think it's broken." He says.

My colleague takes the laptop from the man, who was cradling it like a new born baby, and sets it down on to the work bench.

Switch it ON!

A colleague of mine told me about an incident the other day, where a guy in his department couldn't switch a PC on. The computer was connected up correctly and plugged in. Infact it was in the same state that it was in everyday at that time. Everyday that guy came in, switched it on in the same way and all was well.

This particular day he just couldn't get it to power on. My colleague took a quick glance at the plug socket and informed the man that it wasn't switched on at the plug.

Ten minutes later my colleague came back in to the room and the man was still staring confused at the dead computer.

"What's wrong?" My colleague asked.

"The computer won't switch on." He replied.

Software User Error

We have a few people that are self taught "experts" in certain software packages. These people have learnt from a book rather than from experience. So when something goes wrong they automatically blame the software and do not consider the age old lesson that books are never the same as real life.

For instance we have a guy here that considers himself a "Pro" in Adobe Flash. Now from what we have seen of his work, he is pretty good. Until something goes wrong...

"Flash isn't working on this Computer. I can't be installed properly." He reports one day. So off I go to take a look. Along the way I meet one of my colleagues coming from the other direction.

"Where you off too?" He asks.

How does it "Logon?"

It's that time of year again when we recall staff laptops and re-issue with new ones, with new more up to date software installed.

Today two of my colleagues had to go and swap out a few dozen laptops at one of our sites. About halfway through the morning they were dealing with a Gentleman and had just finished the transaction when he asked "How does this laptop log on?"

One of my colleagues explained that it was exactly the same as before where as the man replied with condescending superiority. "Don't be stupid, how on earth is it going to work like the old one?"

My colleague, a little taken aback by this tried to explain that all he had to do was log on the same as he did on his old laptop. The man shook his head again, refusing to believe him.

"It's a different Laptop, it won't logon the same as before, now tell me how I get on to it."

Software "Install"

One morning we get a knock on the door and a man comes in with his laptop.

"I have brought my laptop up as I was told if I did, you guys would install some software for me." He tells us.

"No problem" we say. "Which software would you like installed?"

"Oh, anything you have got." He says "Throw it all on."

"We have dozens of pieces of software" we tell him. "Is there anything in particular that you needed?"

"No not really. I was just told to come up and get it installed. Just install it all and it'll be there if I need it."

Multiple User Access

The most annoying users that report faults are the ones that don't believe the explanation you give them. They call us up asking for technical help, because they don't understand, but end up telling us we are wrong and then asking the same question elsewhere: Only to get the same answer.
One day our helpdesk took a call from a woman over in another building. She and two of her colleagues had an Excel spreadsheet that they all had access to and modified on a regular basis. On this particular day, all three had the file open, but only the first could edit it and then save the file. The other two had the file in "Read Only" mode.