The Server Hardware Misconfiguration

Umm, it doesn't seem to be working correctly...

It's almost comical that nearly every technological addition or upgrade to our server room is fraught with one mindless defect or another upon arrival. Something may be missing, something may be broken, or the object itself is the wrong one, wrong size or even out of date.

I remember on one occasion we needed a simple power strip for a server rack to power some switches. Nothing fancy, but it needed to have certain connectors for it to do it's job. 5 months and 3 power strips (all wrong) later and we finally get one that we have to change the plug type on ourselves, because we couldn't afford to wait any longer for yet another product exchange.

We take every care to 'spec' out the equipment we need. We research what's available, we choose carefully to meet our needs and budget. Then we pass it on to the bean counters to mess it up in their own special way. Saving money is the name, buying crap, defective hardware is the game (as long as it's cheap).

Helpdesk Hell

We have a hardware vendor that we have to phone on a regular basis for replacement parts. Most of the time when we phone it takes a while, but the person on the other end usually accepts we know what we are talking about and arranges for the part to be delivered.

I say most of the time...

One day I have a laptop that had ceased to function. It was a common problem, one fixed by replacing the motherboard that luckily is under warranty.

I phoned the hardware vendor support line as usual, hoping to get the part for the next day.

It's not working...

"It's not working. It's completely screwed, I need a new one." The man insists as I stand in his office in front of his desk one morning.

"What seems to be the trouble?" I ask.

"I told you, it's dead. Kaput. You only put it in last week, cheap crap. You better replace it Today, I have reports to finish."

"Well have there been any other faults with it? Any problems yesterday?" I ask.

"No, no it was fine. I shut it down last night, came in this morning and switched it on as usual. I went to make my coffee, came back and it wasn't working."

"Please let me take a look." I offer.

Printer Install Problem

"I have just installed the software drivers for my new printer" says a woman proudly to me on the phone one day. " It finished the install successfully and asked me to reboot. But now it has an error every time I boot up."

"OK" I say "What is the error?"

"I don't know. I am not a computer whiz. I clicked cancel and it disappeared, the printer wont print." She says.

"Well please can you reboot again and when the error comes up read it out to me." I ask.

"Ummm. Well OK, but you will have to explain how to do that." the woman replied.

Faulty "Data Ports"

"There's a big meeting in the board room, but they are having trouble loading the PowerPoint presentation, the laptop you lent them has faulty data ports." complains a lady, rushing in to our office with the utmost urgency.

So I make my way down to the board room, taking a spare laptop with me in case I need to make a switch. As I enter the room, fifteen accusing pairs of eyes in expensive suits set themselves upon me as if I am personally responsible for the fault.

I make my way over to the laptop as the eyes follow and receive a full 30 second ear bashing from the red-faced presenter, making sure I was up to date on his professional diagnosis. "My flash drive won't work in your laptop, the USB ports are faulty... etc etc etc..."